Pop Culture’s Influence on Dating Essay

What’s the best part about dating? The rush of getting to know a new person? The hope that it will lead to something more lasting? For some people it’s the dream to find their true love and have them sweep them off their feet. For others it’s finding a person who doesn’t mind a more casual relationship. Most of the time, they return home only to think about what might have happened if their life went as well as the scripted ones they watch all of the time. They wish that they had a team of writers planning the next move in their romantic lives, and had award winning actors take on their role in life. These people have become victims of the modern age in dating. Be it movies, television, or books, pop culture has helped men and women set unrealistic expectations for dating and romance. We all know that the silver screen puts the rose-colored glasses over romance, but it is how they portray dating in many different genres that is really skewed. Horror movies are expected to end badly, and it is no exception for dating in this movie style. Typically the young couple are terrorized on a date by some knife-wielding maniac out for revenge. That can lead to many assumptions, depending on how the movie ended. If the couple was killed during the course of the film, then it can be concluded that the good die young. But if they both survive (and there isn’t a sequel haunting them) then people may start to believe that true love is formed by going through a traumatic experience with someone. Often times in Horror films, the couple goes out to get some privacy, only to find themselves the killer’s first victims. Not many people get the wrong idea about dating from Horror movies, granted, but what about the plucky love interest for everyone’s favorite Superheros? Mary Jane Watson, Gwen Stacy, Pepper Potts, Peggy Carter, Lois Lane, and Jane Foster to name a few. These women have made a name for themselves by being charmed by Superheros. Their men (Spiderman, Iron Man, Captain America, Superman, and Thor, respectively) are either super strong, super smart, an alien, or any combination of the three. If that d oesn’t give people the wrong idea about romance, then the writers aren’t doing their job. The strong, but constantly endangered, women are intelligent and attractive, leading the â€Å"hero† in the audience to long for the power to fly in and save them from any and all perilous situations. With people wanting a hero, and heroes waiting for their fem fatal, no one is going to make it out of this dating game alive. Superpowers aside, perhaps the most disillusioning movie genre is the Romantic Comedy. Quirky but lovable characters are thrust together in strange situations and they always come out of it with the love of their life. This genre has capitalized on the nice-guy finally getting the girl, the best friends realizing that they were made for each other, and fairy tale endings that warm the audience’s hearts. Men and women alike are fans of the Romantic Comedy, in part because they’re designed that way; the actresses are all attractive or funny, the actors are both, and the script is written for both men and women. Whether or not they admit to it, everyone enjoys a good â€Å"rom-com† after a long day of disappointment, and why not? The protagonist always comes out on top, and there’s always that one great date following all of the duds. For as long as they’ve been around, movies have helped the public set impossible goals for dating, but then television came along and sped up the process. From play dates to wedding dates, television has given a â€Å"Step-by-Step† guide to dating, particularly in shows such as Boy Meets World, Friends, and How I Met Your Mother. In Boy Meets World the viewers watched as Cory Matthews grew up, fell in love, and lived his life. Cory’s â€Å"love-of-his-life† was Tapanga Lawrence, a girl that he started calling his wife in Pre-School. Their relationship went through rough patches, but someone always knew that it was meant to be. The idea that one can meet (and keep) their first love from their childhood days is almost as improbable as thinking that Superheros can swoop in and save the day. Against all odds Cory and Tapanga actually survive dating through High School, and marriage in College. Young children are taught through weekly episodes that true love can be found on the playground, and that while it is imperfect, it is eternal. Boy Meets World was a family oriented show, but what about the shows that were geared more towards the working adult? Friends was a television sitcom that followed the lives of six friends. Viewers watched as their favorite friend fell in and out of love. Rachel and Ross had an on-again, off-again relationship that confused everyone, including the actors. Their relationship was based on attraction but the way they treated each other was, at times, cruel. This couple was volatile at best, and a running joke for viewers; â€Å"Are Ross and Rachel together this week?† Another couple in the show occurred later on in the series, and provides a foil to Ross and Rachel. Chandler and Monica’s relationship was built on friendship and as such was more stable. They were the fun couple who’s lines were joking and who always put the other first. The show was casual with its approach to dating, with non-regular characters coming and going throughout the series. Other shows were not as simple. Soap Operas fall in line with the over-dramatization of romance and dating, and there are many shows that focus on finding love. How I Met Your Mother is literally the drawn out retelling of how Ted Mosby found the mother of his children. These shows, while entertaining and sometimes informative, tell men and women that their true love can be found in everyday places such as work, at a coffee shop, or even on the playground. Television is guilty of helping with today’s dating misconceptions, however the biggest offender is literature by far. â€Å"Bodice Rippers† may not be the only things leading to unrealistic ideas about love; everything from Shakespeare to the Teen Romance section in today’s book stores share some of the blame. Romeo and Juliet is perhaps the most well-known romance story of all time. The main characters are teenagers who pledge their love to each other, despite being from warring families. They kill themselves for love that they think is forever but, historically had they lived and been allowed to marry, one of the lovers would have had an affair or died of natural causes early on in their marriage. Poetry of that time was romantic and well written as well. It really is a pit y that most of those poems were written about love affairs with already married people. They spoke of undeniable attraction, and how they really shouldn’t be denying themselves the love of the other person. Romance novels from later centuries tell readers about an odd sensation of love-at-first-sight. â€Å"Our eyes met, and I knew right then and there that we were meant to be together forever.† This idea is the drug of romance novels, it is what gets readers hooked and coming back for more. People have spent countless hours pouring over books with lines like that acting as major plot devices. Most readers swoon over the muscled heroes, dreaming of being in the heroine’s place. Teen Romance novels take this idea and make it even more impossible. They write in supernatural beings for the awkward teenager to fall in love with. Even if they take away the fantasy element, at heart the stories are improbable. For the most part, teenagers in High School don’t know what romantic love is (or if they do, it is never forever). Teen Romance novels teach teenagers that the love of their life is waiting for them in their Biology class, is the partner on a History assignment, or is the loner who they see in the library everyday. Teenagers who read these books get the idea that they can find a true love in the hormone-ridden home of disappointment that is High School. Escaping the real world by reading isn’t bad, but letting the fiction influence the thought process never ended well for anyone. Pop culture isn’t inherently evil, but when it comes to dating and romance, it is probably best to stop drawing parallels with real life. Movies, books, and literature are supposed to be used as ways to escape reality, not as guidelines for how to live. It would be a little ridiculous to put disclaimers before movies, shows, and books reading â€Å"Warning: Relationships portrayed in this are fictional, and not based on real life† but it’s starting to feel necessary. Not every story has a happy ending, and even those who do aren’t forever. If the public could just learn to stop accepting pop culture as gospel, stop looking for their soul mate where they â€Å"never would have expected†, then the dating world would be a better place. A place where true love doesn’t mean a love against all odds, but a love that is real. Real love is when a couple can get into arguments, be mad at each other and that isn’t the end of the relationship; when it isn’t all rainbows and roses but they’re happy with each other. No one wants to watch a movie about that, but then again, no one wants to watch a baby being born and they film â€Å"the miracle of life† every day. Maybe if more movies, TV shows, and books were realistic, more people would enjoy dating.